09.27.07
Wow, It’s Still September??
What do you know, I’m a few days early with the October issue of Lickety Knit! My editorial staff must have been working overtime. I am delighted that you are all so pleased with this blog’s reinvention as a monthly knitting periodical – the 30-odd letters to the editor in response to the last issue have validated my choice very nicely.
New in this issue: Lickety Knit in the mainstream(ish) press! Minty speaks out! Youthful indiscretions come back to haunt me! And a very special moment with Rachel Sr.
MEDIA COVERAGE
For many years I have been a big fan of writer and newspaper editor Dan Savage. Some years ago I even had the opportunity to humiliate myself repeatedly in front of him when I organized a lecture that he delivered at the university where I work. I picked him up from the train station, escorted him around campus, and said one asinine thing after another in an uninterrupted stream of idiocy whenever I was within his earshot for the duration of his visit. (Actual quote from when we were talking about his terrific book The Kid: “I thought your story? About your experience with open adoption? Was so great! It made me think maybe I’d get pregnant? So I could give my kid up for open adoption to a nice gay couple? You know, just to help the cause!”)
Anyway, imagine my delight when I discovered that Dan Savage had blogged me! (Photo from this post.) Sparkles came across it and sent me the link. Of course I had to leave a moronic comment immediately. Just so he’d remember me.
YOUTHFUL INDISCRETIONS
My appearance on Dan’s blog actually lead to another awkward moment (why yes, my life is just one long string of these, thank you). Last week I entered into uncharted waters with Lickety Knit: I revealed its existence to a work colleague for the first time. (And let me just say, totally unrelatedly, that I sincerely love my job! My co-workers are a delight! I always do my work and never surf the internet during the day!)
As I initially considered the potential consequences of this turn of events, I felt confident that I have not posted anything on this blog that would damage my reputation at work. Err, well, with the small exception of certain photographic errors in judgment from way back in the spring and summer of 2006, but I figured that my colleague’s lack of interest in knitting was a pretty strong safeguard against his ever making it back that far, so I didn’t worry too much. Of course, not one week later (today), he reads Andrew Sullivan, follows a link to Dan Savage, sees my photo there, sees the post from which that photo came, reads the comments, and follows Rebekkah’s link (in her comment) directly to one of those offending photos. (I am not providing a direct link, but the old timers here will probably know what I’m talking about, and if you don’t, you can probably follow the links yourself to satisfy your curiosity.) The end result is that I now get to live in fear that this particular (smart, handsome, clever, ethical, merciful) colleague will one day do a PowerPoint presentation at a staff meeting in which he highlights my X-treme Knitting and brings my career to a resounding halt. Pray for me, blog readers.
A CUSTOM ORDER
Some of you are probably here to see actual knitting, aren’t you? Fortunately, I recently knit something. As part of an ongoing effort to make peace between my sister-in-law (Rachel Sr.) and my knitting community, I offered to knit her a hat. You see, Rachel is nearly always cold, and she wears – indoors and out – one of those knit earband things (modeled to the right) for the entire winter, which for her spans from September 15 to June 1. (This accessory is such an integral part of her life that it even has a name. Its name is Earband.) I generated some enthusiasm for my offer by promising I could make the hat to her exact specifications. We eventually settled on colors, size, style, lining, etc. It was only after I was about halfway done that I noticed something funny. See if you can notice it:
Yeeeeah. I made Earband Hat.
Pattern: Basic stockinette hat with a 1×1 ribbed brim and a cotton lining, about 80 stitches in circumference (I really should have recounted before giving it away).
Yarn: Knitpicks Andean Silk in navy, orange, and cream; the lining is Knitpicks Crayon in orange.
Needles: Size 8, I think? I actually made this about three months ago but didn’t blog it until now. Pathetic. And I know, I know, I swore off Knitpicks, but it was easier to show Rachel Sr. some color cards than it was to drag her from one knitting store to the next looking for the perfect yarn.
Notes: Vague as usual, but I will say that I love cotton linings in wool hats. It makes them extra soft and extra warm, plus the contrasting color adds a bit of fun. The Crayon makes a particularly nice lining. I began with that, knit for a while (3-4 inches?), then knit one row in blue, then a purl turning row, and then continued on with the ribbing and the main body of the hat from there, later tacking down the lining on the inside. My purl row looks really loose and crappy, unfortunately, which I think has something to do with the fact that it abuts the ribbing. I might have been able to fix that by using a smaller needle for that row; I’m not sure.
In spite of my initial sense that I’d had a practical joke played on me, it seems that Rachel actually has every intention of using Earband Hat in conjunction with Earband. I was heartened by the fact that she continued to wear it after our photoshoot in spite of the fact that it was (seriously) 82 degrees out. “It’s so warm!” she kept saying enthusiastically, as though without it she would have been risking frostbite. One additional advantage of the cotton lining: it is very sweat absorbant! If I’m on the subject of observing Rachel’s quirks, I must take a moment to note that she has a somewhat distrustful attitude toward technology in general and blogs in particular: most notably, she thinks that leaving a comment on my blog will somehow automatically lead to the theft of her identity and the acquisition of least a dozen stalkers. However, as Minty and I have both learned, if you point a camera at her, tell her to pose in any number of ludicrous ways, and tell her it’s for the blog, she obliges wholeheartedly. I have no explanation (and don’t expect to get one from her in the comments).
ATONEMINT
So where were we off to after our photoshoot? To get together with Minty, of course! At last peace and harmony reigns among the three of us. During dinner Minty lamented that she was somewhat alarmed by the vehemence with which people had sided with me when I listed her minor offenses (stealing my husband, running over kittens with milk trucks, etc.) in my last post. In the spirit of our peace accord, I must tell you that I may have been mistaken about some — possibly all — of those. I sincerely apologize for besmirching her reputation. While I deeply appreciate your loyalty, dear readers, I hope you will join me in turning over a new leaf with Minty. The world is against us, knitbloggers, and if we don’t stick together, we’ll have no one.
On that inexplicably melodramatic note (my brain is usually pretty addled once I finally send an issue to press), I’m signing off. I am pretty sure I’ll finish my Lotus Blossom Tank within a couple weeks, so there may actually be a special bonus issue of LK before too long! Contain your excitetment, now.
matt said,
September 27, 2007 at 10:36 pm
In reality, she stole your milk truck, and ran over your husband with kittens. I still have scratches!
I think my sister deserves a “good sport” award for the summer photo shoot with Earband and Earband Hat. And I’m not sure how I feel about Cory in possession of that particular photo…
Amy said,
September 27, 2007 at 10:53 pm
I’m so glad to hear that Minty is back in your good graces.
Amy
Laura said,
September 27, 2007 at 11:11 pm
So now everyone knows that you’re Jesus! (Or at least a greater percentage of the world’s population. We can still say “everyone.”) Though, the idea of Jesus knitting in the shower and allowing someone to photograph him while it happens is a little odd.
Earband hat is great! Perfect for all those Sunday afternoons when cheering on the Chicago Bears. I’ll bet Rachel Sr. knows all the words to the Chicago Bears fight song. I think I need to hang around with Rachel Sr. Then, I wouldn’t feel so odd about wearing earbands. Though, my needed to wear warm things over my ears has decreased drastically here in the land of perpetual summer.
Mintyfresh said,
September 27, 2007 at 11:48 pm
Thank you for aiming to get my minor offenses wiped from the record! Save the vitriol for the major offenses, people! When I blithely start sweaters without swatching or refuse to even consider knitting Christmas gifts, say.
Love Earband Hat, though I kept calling it Earflap Hat. And I love hanging out with you guys!
Rebekkah said,
September 28, 2007 at 5:40 am
Oh man! Hanging my head in shame!
(If you notice it jiggling, it’s because I’m laughing while hanging my head in shame.)
Heather said,
September 28, 2007 at 6:38 am
Wait, so the bloodsport between Rachel Sr. and Minty is over?? Aww, c’mon. Can’t you stir up the pot a bit, just for our amusement?
matt said,
September 28, 2007 at 7:48 am
I’ll bet Rachel Sr. knows all the words to the Chicago Bears fight song.
Laura: Rachel Sr. roots for the Rams.
Carole said,
September 28, 2007 at 8:55 am
So now that you’ve been outed at work we get no more topless photos? Hmmm.
Rachel said,
September 28, 2007 at 8:58 am
Maybe I’ll set up a password-protected, paid-subscription section of the site for that purpose, Carole. I’ll need the money once I lose my job. :)
Specs said,
September 28, 2007 at 9:24 am
So, now that you’re Jesus (since I missed that post the first time around) any plans for knitterly miracles? Turning eyelash into Malabrigo? Making bad knitters see the light of their errors with a touch of your hand? Multiplying the yarn in a basket so there’s enough for all?
Sparkles said,
September 28, 2007 at 11:37 am
So, did you see he posted back to you???
Love the hat…and REALLY love the idea using Crayon as the inside…might have to try that this year…
Ashley said,
September 28, 2007 at 11:56 am
I’m sticking with my original comment on the Last Supper post: The great thing about being Jesus is you get to smite people. So if your co-worker does make that powerpoint? Smite his ass.
Do not, however, smite Dan Savage. I share your love. Although I would not get pregnant about it.
Allison said,
September 28, 2007 at 2:12 pm
Early issue! Bonus post?!?! Wow, so much excitement here at Lickety Knit!
I love the hat. Even if it’s not a new finished project, it’s new to us, so that’s cool. Good for you for bringing peace to the knitblogverse. Maybe they should send you to the Middle East…
nova said,
September 28, 2007 at 3:17 pm
It seems like every post of yours I read, I end up laughing so hard that I cry. Seriously, I can not wait until the next issue/installment of LK.
Amy said,
September 28, 2007 at 3:52 pm
I’ll have you know I “save up” LK for when I have plenty of time to relax and enjoy. Sort of like I used to do with People Magazine. Before I saw the light.
hpny knits said,
September 28, 2007 at 4:56 pm
I had to follow the link and I must say- its true dedication………..!
Earband is great. sometimes you just don’t want a hat.
Debby said,
September 28, 2007 at 5:04 pm
Your life makes Paris Hilton’s look boring. :)
Amy said,
September 28, 2007 at 6:18 pm
She was lightning fast. So fast that you couldn’t see her creating the stitch. Amazing, I tell you! Just think of all the knits you could plow through!!!
Yea, I’d rather work than sip wine in France anyday.
Amy
earthchick said,
September 28, 2007 at 9:40 pm
As someone who has trouble keeping my earbuds in while I run, I think Earband Hat is genius and Rachel Sr. is genius for always wearing an Earband, no matter what. In fact, I wonder if Rachel Sr. is, in fact, wearing earbuds all the time, hidden under her Earband, secretly tuning the rest of the world out.
I must say, I will miss the drama and intrigue of the Minty/Rachel Sr. smackdown. But I will grudgingly go along with your whole “give peace a chance” idea of knitbloggers living in harmony with one another.
p.s. What does it say about me that I misread “excitement” as “excrement” in your last line? As in: Contain your excrement, now. An odd note to end on, I thought, but good advice nonetheless.
leigh said,
September 29, 2007 at 12:46 am
Andrew and I want matching “awesome sweaters” like the one you’re knitting for Cory
Erika said,
September 29, 2007 at 2:37 am
You know, if you keep posting pictures like *those* (there are enough now that I can’t pick one specific example) I’m going to have a hard time convincing people I only come here for the articles.
By the way, that match between Earband and Earband Hat is hilarious.
Claire said,
September 29, 2007 at 12:27 pm
yay! new lickety knit!
Kristen said,
September 29, 2007 at 4:16 pm
The funny thing is that the photo was totally unplanned and the resemblance to one of the world’s most famous paintings wasn’t discovered until downloading it.
What I need is a noseband for those cold winter nights when my nose is the only thing sticking out of the covers.
Liz K. said,
September 29, 2007 at 6:03 pm
If I need to wait a month for a post as good as this, I’m fine –
Another installment of Minty vs. Rachel Sr, Rachel is Jesus…is just doesn’t get any better!
Sonya said,
September 30, 2007 at 5:19 pm
So much going on! I think your co-workers would have new respect for you if they saw “the picture.” But the smiting idea is fun too. Glad there is peace in the East. Atonemint: now that’s funny.
Rachel Sr. said,
October 1, 2007 at 8:26 pm
Earband hat is great! thanks, RJ. It’s already getting lots of use as temperatures here have dipped into the low 70s. Circle-8 stitch forever!
pamela wynne said,
October 2, 2007 at 1:04 pm
OMG, DAN SAVAGE BLOGGED YOU!!!
This, combined with the fact that you have been one-arm-snuggled by Mandy Patinkin, takes you entirely out of the realm of “online/blog friend” and puts you firmly in the “untouchable celebrity” category.
Also, this post is fucking hilarious. Worth at least 30 regular posts, which totally justifies the monthly format.
JayJay said,
October 2, 2007 at 5:26 pm
Ohh, I’m excited to see lotus blossom. That Dan Savage blog is so completely, utterly fantastic! I especially love that you are Jesus in the photo. Any plans for walking on water, or other miraculous feats? Or is shower knitting the extent of it? (That is pretty impressive, so I won’t complain). The earband hat looks great, and the recipient looks quite pleased. I’m very happy that you and Minty have made peace and all is well in the knitblog world, for the moment at least.
emilie inc said,
October 3, 2007 at 1:01 am
Nice celebrity spot on Dan’s blog, Rache (and especially the “xo” he sent ya)! And look, a Rachel sighting in your comments! That’s darn religious, no?
Mothhair said,
October 4, 2007 at 8:52 am
If you are Jesus, doesn’t that make me the Mother of God? I’ve played worse roles. Thanks, Rachel, for not sharing with me your bright idea of pregnancies undertaken specifically for the purpose of providing adoption material. Some things mothers (even Mothers of God) don’t need to know.
Christy/ Not Hip said,
October 4, 2007 at 1:00 pm
Okay, that Dan Savage thing is still cracking me up….”so I can help the cause”=pure awesomeness. And your mom’s comment has me in hysterics. Are you going to start calling her Mother Mary now?
Lickety Knit » Finished Object: Lotus Blossom Tank said,
October 8, 2007 at 1:51 pm
[...] readers of this blog who don’t really know much about knitting (though Rachel Sr. likes to fake it by talking confidently about things being knit in “circle-8 stitch,” a technique that [...]
Lickety Knit » March Miscellany said,
March 9, 2008 at 8:59 pm
[...] only gift-receiving, but gift-giving. Some of you may recall that back in the early fall I made a hat for my sister-in-law (Rachel Sr.), knit to her exact specifications. Like any appreciative and well-adjusted adult, [...]