04.15.07
Minty Sleeps with the Fishes
Thanks for all your nice comments on my last post: absolving me for being a humorless crank, warning me of Sims addiction, and expressing enthusiasm for my hotel’s pillow menu. I happened upon an article here that describes a hotel with twelve different pillow choices, and a pillow concierge to advise you on your pillow decision! (Sometimes you realize more acutely than others how this country’s wealth may be going toward the wrong priorities, but that’s a discussion for a very different post, and probably a very different blog.)
Most of you, though, wanted to know about Minty the Homewrecker. To be fair, this is not exactly how I would characterize Minty’s influence on my family life; perhaps that was an easy conclusion for my readers to reach since it immediately followed the accidental intimation that Minty and I had nearly violated my marital vows (which we did not). No, it’s not my husband who hates Minty with a fiery passion (why would he?). It’s my sister-in-law.
Let me begin by saying that my sister-in-law is great. Her name is Rachel. (To prevent confusion at family gatherings I go by RJ, for Rachel Jr., as she is three long months older than I am.) Rachel is funny and wise and successful (though I outscored her on the LSAT — sorry, Rachel, now the whole internet knows). We share a shameful love for the disgustingly delicious Birthday Cake Remix at Stonecold Creamery (her name, not mine, though I admit to having co-opted it). She does not award her friendship automatically (it took me far longer to win her over than it did my husband), and she is not someone you want to cross. Which brings us to Minty.
It all began several months ago, during my first-ever business trip to New York City. I was quite nervous, so as I planned my schedule of meetings for the day I decided to allow time for a social, stress free lunch. I emailed Rachel and determined that my 11 a.m. appointment was, in fact, quite close to her office downtown. We made a noon lunch date.
The day before my trip, however, I discovered that our office database had bad information and that the person I was meeting at 11:00 worked in midtown, not downtown. I emailed Rachel and told her that I was sorry, but we’d have to have lunch on another trip, because there was no way I could get downtown for noon and then back to midtown for my afternoon meetings. She was disappointed (I flatter myself to presume) but understood.
Finding myself suddenly without lunch plans, I emailed Minty, whom I knew worked in midtown (we had never met but had talked about trying to get together someday when I was in town). Happily, she was available, and we had a great lunch together, blogged here (scroll down). Little did I realize what a mistake that was. You see, Rachel reads this blog, and when she found out that I had, as far as she could tell, ditched her so I could have lunch with a blog friend, she developed a deep-seated grudge against Minty, which I still haven’t heard the end of. Minty now figures fairly prominently in most if not all of our interactions:
“So you’re not coming to our house for Thanksgiving this year? No, no, I’m not surprised, I figured you’d probably be spending Thanksgiving with Minty’s family.”
“I’d ask you what you want for Winter Holiday Gift-Giving Time, but I assume Minty has already gotten you everything you could want.”
“Thanks for inviting me to come to Grand Cayman with you and Matt. I take it Minty wasn’t available? Or will I be sleeping on the floor while she gets the pull-out couch?”
I think this is all in good fun, though I did get a text message from Rachel out of the blue a couple months ago that read simply: “Minty sleeps with the fishes.” And when I last saw her in New York (I never dare to go into the city anymore without seeing her), she told me to get out my cell phone because she wanted to give me something to give Minty:
Afraid to disobey, I showed Minty the photo when we met for the Yarn Harlot and warned her of my sister-in-law’s vendetta. Minty, being the brave or possibly foolhardy soul that she is, did not seem overly concerned, and sent me back with a message of her own:
I’m a little scared to put this up — Rachel hasn’t seen it yet, and I don’t think she’ll take kindly to being told to talk to the hand. Who knows how it may escalate the Minty Wars? Be warned, blogging public: when your real life and your blog life collide, there could be casualties. Don’t let this happen to you.
Next week: Knitting! It’s a little hobby I do occasionally that I thought I might share with you all.
matt said,
April 15, 2007 at 4:10 pm
You don’t mess with my sister. You just don’t.
Heather G. said,
April 15, 2007 at 4:48 pm
When I read ‘Minty sleeps with the fishes’ I laughed very sharply and with great volume. Now my cat Phlox has a vendetta out on you! Beware, he could cause global cooling just by shedding a cloud of fur to block out the sun.
Sounds like you have a very cool sister-in-law.
pamela wynne said,
April 15, 2007 at 4:48 pm
Okay, this is *hilarious* – I was having a kind of crappy day, and this may have turned it around.
And, I think I kind of love your sister in law.
Judi said,
April 15, 2007 at 4:51 pm
Delurking to say thanks for the laugh!
Heather said,
April 15, 2007 at 5:01 pm
Careful SIL Rachel, Minty’s hand gesture seems to say: “Bring it on!”.
You seem to have a clash of the titans on your hands here, RJ. I feel for you and would very easily be sucked into this as I come from a long line of feuders (being a McCoy and all). Good luck!
leigh said,
April 15, 2007 at 6:20 pm
nice.
Shelley said,
April 15, 2007 at 7:15 pm
Sounds like this is something you don’t want to get in the middle of…but you are in the middle aren’t you? LOL!
Sonya said,
April 15, 2007 at 7:28 pm
I know it’s not appropriate (well, not entirely anyway), but I can’t help humming “Torn Between Two Lovers.” But what I’m picturing is more of a West Side Story rumble scenario. Either way, I’m totally enjoying being a spectator.
Sue said,
April 15, 2007 at 7:47 pm
Oh the same names in the family. I have 2 SIL’s both Kathryn’s, and my MIL is too. We call them Kathryn, Kate and Kathy to avoid confusion, suffice to say when we had our daughter there was definately no mention of Kathryn in the list. It is so nice to see that your SIL loves you so much that she has carried on her little vendetta of jealousy. Maybe you need to arrange a little meetup and they could become the best of friends.
Specs said,
April 15, 2007 at 8:04 pm
Fight! Fight! Fight!
But more importantly, I love Minty’s sweater!
Tana said,
April 15, 2007 at 8:46 pm
Very, very funny. Oh to have two people fighting over me!! What a lucky gal you are! Live it up!
Rachel Sr. said,
April 15, 2007 at 10:54 pm
RJ, I can not believe you revealed my (formerly) secret shame that you got a higher LSAT score than I did.
And Minty, It’s On. Do you hear that sound? It’s me opening up a can of whoop-ass.
Mintyfresh said,
April 15, 2007 at 11:44 pm
Bring it.
(Minty’s sweater is by a Ms. Ann Taylor. Something found in her Loft, that is.)
Laura said,
April 16, 2007 at 7:03 am
I’m still not over the fact that it seems EVERYONE has had lunch with Minty but me. Waaaah.
Kristen said,
April 16, 2007 at 9:18 am
It’s really getting ugly now! Watch out, Rachel Jr. If life is anything like an opera, soap or otherwise, these two enemies will eventually iron out their differences and join forces and turn on YOU! (But hopefully this will not happen.)
MiniLaura said,
April 16, 2007 at 9:29 am
Well, I WOULD side with Rachel (Sr.) on this one and say that Minty is a relationshipwrecker, but you just sent me macaroons and didn’t send any to Minty. So I know that you like me best.
You hear that Minty?! I know you’re blog stalking these comments. I got macaroons!
stacey said,
April 16, 2007 at 11:19 am
that gave me a good smile on this cold and dreary Monday….
Emily said,
April 16, 2007 at 11:36 am
Snicker.
*glances nervously over shoulder*
JayJay said,
April 16, 2007 at 1:59 pm
Yet more evidence that the blog life and real life should be kept separate. Unless of course you’re coming to the Los Angeles area, then we should totally meet. Let’s give Minty and Rachel, Sr. something to talk about! (Afterall, what happens in LA stays in LA. ;)
Sparkles said,
April 16, 2007 at 5:10 pm
Guess it’s a good thing Rachel Sr doesn’t live in Seattle! Don’t think I would want to mess with her…though Minty seems to have enough attitude to hold her own!
ROFL
Sue Hird said,
April 16, 2007 at 6:06 pm
Can’t wait till Rachel senior and Minty finally have a showdown. lol
Pity you aren’t coming to Melbourne, WE could meet, and give them all something to think about.
Liz K. said,
April 16, 2007 at 8:18 pm
I would recommend to SIL Rachel that she not mess with Minty, but she looks well able to handle herself. Scrappy!
Ashley said,
April 16, 2007 at 10:39 pm
OMG this is hilarious.
Also, where are MY macaroons?
Nic said,
April 17, 2007 at 8:28 am
LMAO! It is a classy kind of battle tho!
nova said,
April 17, 2007 at 12:20 pm
I think people named Rachel must be entertaining in general. This had me laughing, making too much noise in the library yet again… hah!
projektleiterin said,
April 17, 2007 at 2:16 pm
You girls are crazy. :D
hpny knits said,
April 17, 2007 at 6:47 pm
LOL! you guys are too funny.
showdown! we want to see a showdown- and soon. this can’t be dragged any longer…
wait- what’s this all about?
oh.
earthchick said,
April 17, 2007 at 11:37 pm
Looks to me like you people belong in exactly the kind of Springer-esque sort of audience that turned up at the Harlot event! I’m waiting to see chairs flying and men holding these two people back.
And ditto Laura – has everyone in blogland had lunch with Minty? Not only is she a Homewrecker – that girl gets around!!
earthchick said,
April 17, 2007 at 11:39 pm
p.s. I can’t help but notice in your sidebar that Green Gable is 97% done!! Exciting! – I can’t wait to see it.
Theresa said,
April 17, 2007 at 11:47 pm
Turns out my whole family of future-in-laws reads my blog. Talk about needing to be REALLY careful about what I say . . .
Mintyfresh said,
April 19, 2007 at 12:04 am
macaroons? macaROONS? where are my bleepin’ macaroons?
and woah–now earthchick is calling me a blogging slut? I won’t stand for this! I’ll take you all on! I’ll I’ll beat you both apart. I’ll take you both together!
(C’mon, everyone else is a Princess Bride fan, right?)
Knittypants said,
April 19, 2007 at 1:00 am
Oh my goodness, this is so funny. How troubling to be caught in the middle, but you don’t seem to mind to much :-)
Janet said,
April 21, 2007 at 8:01 pm
ohmygoodness, i literally laughed out loud when reading this post :-)
Lickety Knit » Finished Object: Green Gable said,
April 22, 2007 at 8:15 pm
[...] it or not, my life is not all social melodrama; I do actually have time to get a little knitting done between threats and brawls. A very little, [...]
Rain said,
May 12, 2007 at 8:30 am
I’d comment but I bet Minty left you all the comments you could possibly want ;)
Lickety Knit » Lickety Knit Vol. 3 Issue 7 said,
September 1, 2007 at 11:25 am
[...] of you may recall that one of the odder features of my relationship with Minty is her heated rivalry with my sister-in-law, whom she’d never met. Feeling mischievous when Minty called, I told her that yes, of course [...]