04.27.06
Good Neighbors Make Good Fences
In which I write a blog post about nothing and feel bad about it but can’t really do much about it because there’s nothing to write about.
I know it has been quiet around here for a while. I have been steadfastly adhering to my cardinal rule of blogging (“If you don’t have anything interesting to blog, don’t blog anything at all”), but a week and a half with no post is a long time even for me. The “HAVE YOU SEEN THIS BLOGGER?” billboards going up on the information superhighway with my pitiful mug on them have started to creep me out, so I figured I ought to put something up here before I see my life summarized in the blog obituaries. (Yes, everything in that last sentence was made up right out of my own addled brain.) Anyway, desperate times call for blatant disregard of one’s own blogging manifesto.
Actually, I do have a few things going on. Starsky is moving along at a good clip; I have a non-knitted knitting-related project in the works; and I even have a pair of socks I could throw up here in a pinch (and, in fact, “throw up” is rather what the yarn’s color and splotchiness bring to mind — delightful!). Nothing ready for prime time, though. Plus the rest of my life keeps getting in the way. For example, a few weeks ago we noticed that our fence had fallen down onto our neighbor’s garage. Because our neighbor is practically Mr. Rogers in terms of friendliness and kindliness, not only was he not mad about it, but he offered to spend an inordinate amount of time (like, days) helping us repair it. Matt and I have long said that we aspire not to be “can do” people so much as “can pay” people, but when we discovered that the cost of replacing the entire fence was equivalent to two months of my salary, our neighbor, who is quite handy at do-it-yourself home repair, took pity on us. So while I’m deeply grateful for that, it did cut into my precious weekend knitting time quite a bit.
Although really, building a fence is a lot like knitting. Except instead of two wooden sticks, you use two hundred. And the resulting “fabric” isn’t so much interlocking loops of yarn as it is adjacent boards nailed to a rail. And the project is finished not with seaming but with cement. And you don’t do it sitting down in front of the TV sipping tea so much as lifting, hauling, digging, and okay, building a fence is seriously nothing at all like knitting. I tried to find even the most remote similarity and failed. I suppose both result in pride in a good day’s work, which actually is nothing to sneeze at.
Through it all, Starsky blocks. The fronts and back, anyway. I actually have both sleeves finished as well. When I eventually do my finished object post about Starsky I will explain that my new floor-length cabled wool cardigan ball gown is my well-deserved punishment for not washing and blocking my swatch before determining my row gauge. In the meantime, I’m plugging along on the double-knitted belt, which is taking for freakin’ ever and looks like tush. Then it’s just the seaming left (I’m thinking of using cement to put it together — it worked great on the fence) and the big ol’ collar. I’m rooting for a cold spell at the end of next week.
Lately I’ve been thinking that my blog really needs a “hook.” Some bloggers offer free patterns, some have a Museum of Kitschy Stitches, some have lots of helpful techniques and tutorials. I have self-deprecation and dull apologies for being dull. Needless to say, that’s not going to get me a book deal. You probably recall that I flirted with the idea of posting naked pictures of myself as my hook, and while that went over quite well with most of my depraved readership, my family and coworkers read this blog. So it’s something I’ll continue to puzzle over, this “hook.” If you have hooks to spare, you may submit your suggestions in the comments. (In college we used the expression “getting mad hooks” to mean hooking up. So if you comment that you have hooks to spare, I will not be able to help but think of you as something of a Don Juan from now on.)
Theresa said,
April 27, 2006 at 12:05 pm
Can’t wait to see the ball gown. (Although lots of wool stretches when wet and dries back to size.)
As for hooks, well, there’s always your skill in manipulating graphics and photos. You know, you could portray your knitting in fun and exciting situations without their knowledge or consent. I’m picturing Paris Hilton knitting Starsky for some reason.
Heather said,
April 27, 2006 at 12:19 pm
I’ve been trying to figure out the same thing for me. I can’t think of anything I do that is special enough to be an interesting hook.
My problem is that even if I did, I do not have any mad authoring skillz to make my blog anything more than a Blogger blog. Does this make it a bog-standard blog? Blog-standard?
Paloma said,
April 27, 2006 at 12:46 pm
I have to admit. I have been blog-stalking you. I’ve been checking your blog non-stop waiting for updates. I am sick.
I have no ideas for hooks. I can barely get myself motivated to post in a timely manner.
Chris said,
April 27, 2006 at 1:09 pm
Your quirky humor is a good hook. :) The Hogwarts thing was fun, but probably hard to sustain. My hook is obviously Chaos!
Ashley said,
April 27, 2006 at 1:15 pm
Like Heather, I worry about this re: my own blog from time to time, but what I’ve decided is that while I read some blogs because they have that kind of “hook,” most of the blogs I really like I read because I like the voices of the people writing them, because I enjoy seeing the work of talented people who have similar tastes to mine, and because I feel like I would probably be friends with the person if I knew them in real life, which I hope does not sound weird and stalky. The hookiest blog in the world isn’t going to stay on my list if those things aren’t there.
(Also, I happen to think dressing your penguins up in sweaters is a perfectly good hook, but that’s just me.)
Mary Ann said,
April 27, 2006 at 2:26 pm
You don’t need a hook other than your skillful writing and clever wit. I would read your blog anytime.
Sonya said,
April 27, 2006 at 2:30 pm
No hook necessary. You’re funny and you knit interesting stuff. Usually the thing that attracts me to subscribe to a blog is the pictures of knitting projects. Do they knit patterns that interest me? Then I actually read the content and get to know the blogger, so to speak. I tuned into your blog and Knitting Underway during the Knitting Olympics. Now you are 2 of my favorites.
NessieNoodle said,
April 27, 2006 at 3:43 pm
You need no hook my dear, your writing is good enough for me to keep coming back again and again.
Way to go on the home DIY project. Fences are no small task.
The sweater looks great, even if it is the size of a bathrobe.
Erica said,
April 27, 2006 at 4:59 pm
I have to agree with what a few people said above — your best “hook” is your great writing ability and sense of humor. Your blog is always a pleasure to read!
Amy said,
April 27, 2006 at 5:33 pm
Your blog is not dull! In fact, as I was reading it, I was thinking how I wish I was as clever a writer as you.
Amy
Laura said,
April 27, 2006 at 5:53 pm
Hook? I got nothing. If I had a hook, I’d be using it already. The only hook that I’ve ever toyed with (and it’s been done) is a blog with 2 or 3 authors to get some variety in the mix. I’m certain that people will get bored with all my pink, cabled sweaters eventually.
Meg said,
April 27, 2006 at 6:06 pm
Those commenters stole all my hooks! I was going to say your writing ‘voice’ is hook enough. But also I was going to mention that I have a bit of a fence issue in my own backyard – maybe you and your neighbour care to rebuild another fence? I’ll make you some lunch!
silverarrowknits said,
April 27, 2006 at 6:14 pm
I used to worry about hooks too. I am not particularly exciting; however, I decided to keep my blog focused on one topic (knitting), so even if I am not hilarious and adventurous person, people will know that they will get at my blog.
I wanted to tell you that I tried reading your blog at work, but my office’s filtering system refused to let me see it because of the “naked” thing. :)
Leah said,
April 27, 2006 at 7:16 pm
You’ve got “the voice”! All the hook you need!
Can’t wait to see you modeling the ball gown!
Areli said,
April 27, 2006 at 7:23 pm
I can’t wait to see your finished Starsky, so exciting!! Hooks, I don’t know, you seem to be hooky enough, lots of interesting writing going on here :-)
Shelley said,
April 27, 2006 at 8:50 pm
Yeah, I know what you mean about hooks. I need one too.
Shelagh said,
April 27, 2006 at 9:06 pm
Rachy the hooker! Take up crochet.
I cannot wait to see your Starsky prom dress – clever you. And your fence is brilliant.
PS – The penguins. Like Ashley said.
erin said,
April 28, 2006 at 1:52 am
Oh you don’t need a hook, you already have one. I like to come by and read. By the way, can I exchange my neighbour for yours? :)
Isabelle said,
April 28, 2006 at 2:23 pm
Your Starsky is turning out great! I cannot wait to see more of it!
Did you have any problem with the knots on the yarn or were you able to deal with them nicely?
Good luck with your fence! Nice to see that there are still friendly neighbors! :)
Isabelle
Isabelle said,
April 28, 2006 at 2:24 pm
BTW, I wish I was able to write the way you do… Your blog is never boring! :)
Emily said,
April 28, 2006 at 4:13 pm
Home Repair Tips might be the way to go. And now I want a knit bathrobe. I do have all of this White Buffalo (purchased in a moment of weakness) that I don’t know what to do with…