01.08.06
Lies, Damn Lies, and Time-to-Knit Estimations
I am not the sort who likes to spread gossip about others on the internet, especially people I don’t know, but it is evident to me that Joelle Hoverson smokes the crack. There is no other explanation for the fact that four hours into her two-to-four-hour legwarmer pattern (in Last Minute Knitted Gifts), I am one-quarter of the way done. When I realized my progress after three straight episodes of Six Feet Under on DVD and two episodes of Scrubs on TiVo, I checked back to see whether perhaps the pattern was in the “Three-to-Four-Hundred-Hour Gifts” chapter. Alas, no. Not even close. Now, I’m not the fastest knitter in the world, but I’m quite confident that I’m not the slowest either. Therefore, I am forced to conclude that Joelle H.? She smokes the crack. (By the way, the yarn is Cascade 220 and a strand of mohair, just as called for.)
After all my whining about how I’ll have nothing to post about this month aside from Reversible Rib Shawl progress, I realized I actually haven’t posted a progress photo since October and could probably get away with doing so today. I must confess that given the slow going on this project, I’ve entertained notions of what else this garment could be that wouldn’t require the full 70 inches of length. Currently I am considering threading ribbon through the top and gifting my mother with a Reversible Rib Apron, as shown. What do you think?
A few months ago Matt showed me how to wrap the text around the photos in my blog posts. I think it creates a more professional look, but there’s one major drawback: you have to be sure to include enough text to reach the end of the photo, or the text from the previous post winds up jumping up and throwing the whole template off. Therefore, most of the ends of my posts are just me blathering about anything I can think of, trying to guarantee enough text. Actually, I bet there’s a way around this. Matt? Help?
Oh, I thought of something real I can say: Thanks to all who responded with humor and encouragement to my fretting about my blog content in my last post. Ya’ll are the best never-met-in-person friends a girl could ask for.
Matt said,
January 8, 2006 at 9:15 pm
In fact, yes. If your images are floated “left,” you can hack things up so that the next post down the page doesn’t float up next to your image by ending your post with a:
<p style=”clear: left”></p>
Emily said,
January 9, 2006 at 9:01 am
I like it as a skirt! You would either have to block it very agressively or break down and make the other side.
Mothhair said,
January 9, 2006 at 9:12 am
Just to be clear: no degree of aggression in blocking will enable this item to serve as a skirt for me in my current incarnation. I could, if need be, wear it as a little cape, snapped to my back at the neckline Superwoman-style. Now THAT would take me back to my 1950s childhood, when we all ran around our yards with our arms pointing straight and strong before us and our family’s oldest and most expendable towels safety-pinned to our backs. And, by the way, we were all SuperMAN back then. Fewer superhero(ine) options in the olden days. But I digress. Rachel, the shawl/cape/skirt/handkerchief looks lovely. Keep your chin up.
Martha said,
January 9, 2006 at 12:33 pm
I would just like to concur with your thoughts on Joelle “Cracky” Hoverson. I recently made the felted yoga mat bag with the proper yarn, needles, patience, etc. and it took about 3 times as long as she would have you believe. Perhaps if we also smoked the crack, there would be no discrepancy.
deety said,
January 10, 2006 at 5:17 am
This is a huge pet peeve for me. People who knit for a living are probably faster than most of the rest of us, so I wish they’d stop writing in those silly estimates. They may as well be saying, “This is a simple two hour project for a decent knitter, but it will take you eight hours because you are a terrible klutz.” They’re a bunch of sadists.
Alex said,
January 10, 2006 at 12:52 pm
And it’s 1×1 rib, which looks all easy but in reality takes forever. I hate all that passing the yarn back and forth. I made my dad a hat in 2×2 rib, and a hat is probably like half a legwarmer, and it took me way more than 2 hours.
Sorry I haven’t commented in so long! Hope you’re doing well and staying out of the falling slush!
Emily said,
January 10, 2006 at 2:30 pm
Yup, Joelle is most definitely wrong. Even though all the projects in that book were knit by experts, that can’t possibly count for all that time. Maybe she should have “not quite as avanced” knitters (like myself) set the time limit?
Amy said,
January 10, 2006 at 10:03 pm
I’ve read the last to comments your mother made. She sounds like a hoot.
Ohhhhh….the RRS…..when will it ever end??? I just started on my second ball of Kid Silk Haze.
LMKG is known for its incorrect estimates. I’ll forgive the designer, though, because the patterns are great.
Amy