04.14.08
Teeny Knitting, Teeny Blogging
Has this ever happened to anyone else? For the last week I have been thinking more and more that I really ought to get a post up here, and I sort of half woke up in the night last night thinking about it. As I lay there semi-conscious, I started composing the post in my head, and I remember thinking it was really, really good, and all I’d have to do today is type it up from memory in the morning (of course I’d remember it perfectly!). As you might have predicted, I remembered almost nothing, and the highly questionable quality of the few bits I do remember suggests that I should not mourn the loss of the rest. For example, central to the post was going to be the excuse that I haven’t posted for so long because I lost the keys to my blog, and then when I found them I couldn’t get the blog to start. You totally would have accepted that explanation, right?
Readers, there is much happening at Lickety Knit Headquarters these days, but very little of it has to do with knitting. I hope this will change very soon, but in the meantime, I do feel as though I ought to give you a mini-post just to stem the tide of very thoughtful emails I’m getting inquiring after my health and well being. My health is good and my being is well, thank you — just otherwise occupied at the moment. You will have my undivided attention again shortly.
I did recently knit this itty bitty sweater out of leftover sock yarn for a figurine on the top of a bowling trophy. Isn’t it cute? I’m rather proud of it. Please leave your impressed and envious comments below, and thanks for reading my blog this month! See you all next time.
Oh, what, you want to know why I knit a sweater for a bowling trophy figurine? A girl can’t just knit mini sweaters for inanimate objects without getting the third degree? When did you all get so demanding? And after I was just telling you how busy I am. Okay, okay, fine. It’s a good thing I love you all so much.
It’s sort of a random story. I have a good friend/colleague named Cory. I’ve mentioned Cory on this blog before: he’s the one who is always threatening to sneak a particularly ill-considered photo from this blog of me knitting in the shower into a work PowerPoint presentation. Anyway, when he started reading my blog, I added “this awesome sweater for my friend Cory” as an item in my on deck list in my sidebar, and it linked to a site selling the pattern for the awful sweater pictured here (tragically, and to the unquestionable detriment of the internet, the original link is now defunct). No real reason, I just thought it was funny.
Well, so did a mutual friend of ours, Leigh, who also happens to be a bit of a Photoshop whiz. Leigh felt inspired to bring the dream of Cory’s very special sweater one step closer to reality by applying it to a photo of Cory as realistically as possible; her artistry is seen here. The photo has since found many uses in the service of making fun of Cory (something I know I do at my peril, since he has access to that aforementioned shower knitting photo), including being circulated among all the members of our team at work via email. It has become a bit of a running joke.
Speaking of our team at work, ever year we have our holiday party at a local bowling alley, and the competition for the top prize is vicious. Winning comes with a truckload of bragging rights and this chintzy trophy. Cory has been out-bowled every year since the inception of the competition, but this past December, due mostly to steep attrition among the more talented bowlers in the office, he managed to capture the top score. He was overjoyed about his victory, and he wasted no time becoming quite insufferable in his boasting about it. The trophy was displayed on an elaborate pedestal right in the doorway of his office. He brought it up at every meeting. In the face of all that, what else could I do but bedeck the trophy a mini version of the pig sweater? I have no doubt that any one of you would have done the same when confronted with the same circumstances.
The thing that makes me particularly happy is that the sweater had to be seamed directly onto the trophy, because one of the arms is continuous with the base. Therefore, the only way it’s ever coming off is with scissors, and I am confident that no one is heartless enough to take scissors to handknits. (If someone does, I have the full fury of the knitblogging community behind me, right?)
By the way, this sweater would not have been possible without the generosity of Laura and Minty, who between them sent me three different pink sock yarns. Because the two of them fight constantly for my affection, I won’t tell you whose I ultimately chose. As my mom used to say when she didn’t feel up to figuring out why my sister and I were fighting, “Girls, you’re both pretty.”
I know this post was much ado about nothing (possibly also sound and fury signifying nothing). And I know I’ve been abysmal about reading blogs recently. But I promise that my next post will be more exciting, and I promise it will come within a month. Have I ever let you down? Don’t answer that.
